And back down

ugh.....I hate this roller coaster. my dad's doing poor again therefore, I'm feeling bad again and upset that I got hopeful. Ava was really stressed by my dad's health so I kept telling her how great Papa was like a freaking cheerleader. My hopes were up so I got her hopes up and now I feel really guilty about that too. I'm tired of feeling this way. My poor Dad.

Happy Birthday Ruby Lu

Ruby turned one on February 17th. We can't believe what a quick beautiful year it was. Ruby entered our world a year ago and now we cant remember life without her. Ruby has the most playful personality. Since birth Ruby has made her needs very clear. She also has always saved her biggest smiles and coo's for Ava. Ruby is adventurous, loving, and fun. She loves people, she will accept love from anyone! She also has a love for holding something in both hands. Often when we put her to sleep, we have to pry a little something out of her hands. Usually its some small choking hazard she never should have had in the first place. Ruby loves hanging out with her sister and her sisters friends. She can't wait to do what everyone else is doing. She crawl walks and has been doing that for months. She takes one step with her foot flat on the floor and drags the other knee forward like a crawl. She loooooves shoes and associates them with walking. For a while, she was sleeping with shoes on. If you take your shoes off around her, she will put them on for sure! She often wears Ava's and has put mommy's and daddy's on too. She loves dancing and food. Everything her sister does, she wants to do it too. This little girl is amazing. She's more than a Ruby! This little being is my heart melted all over the world. Thank you for letting me be your mommy! Happy Birthday love!!!

It's a good day

Yesterday was Ruby's birthday. I'm going to blog about that when I get a picture from it. (I momentarily lost my camera.) Her Party went fantastic. We kept is very simple and small. As small as my family can be anyway. ;) I was pretty certain I was going to cancel her party all week long. I figured it was the one year I could really get away with doing nothing. I wanted to do nothing because of my dad's health and because of his health, I have been very depressed.
My Dad's health fell very poor. I really thought he had no more miracles left. We all did. About a week and a half ago, I got a call from my mom saying my dad was leaving their home in an ambulance. He was hemorrhaging. He threw up blood and coughed up blood the next day. Over the next week, he lost even more blood. He had to have several transfusions. After a few days, his mind went. He was in and out of sleep but had no idea where he was. He saw people in the room. A man named Chad and a small boy. There was no one in the room. My Dad wanted to leave for several reasons. He thought he was well and he was begging us to get him out of bed. He felt stuck and wanted to move. He couldn't move and that made him really upset. After a while he had to be restrained. On Thursday his blood pressure dropped to 56/31. The whole time he was awake. We, my mother, sister and I were all in a silent panic. I asked him how he felt, wondering if this was it and he said "I feel fine". I thought for sure this was the end.
I saw my Dad in a condition, no one should ever have to see anyone in. After a spell of hallucinations, he asked me to take care of my mom for him. He cried and said he didn't want her alone. I promised him I would. This was all very hard for me. At one point I sat in my feelings and realized, this was the most painful feelings I have ever experienced. No break up or loss has ever compared. My heart felt a hundred pounds heavy.
Last Friday, my Dad's health took a turn. The bleeding stopped (they still, after many test, have no idea why that happened), his mental state was healthy and his vitals were ok again. Late that night he was transfered to a skilled nursing center for rehabilitation. I was worried but happy too.
After some much needed encouragement from a friend and my family, I was reminded how necessary it is to celebrate birthdays, especially the first one. So we had a small party and friends, my dad is doing amazing! I can't believe this miracle! I was at the hospital all day every day and barely saw my girls. I am not very hopeful when it comes to my Dad being sick. I guess I try to stay true, he has a lot of health problems and I guess I prepare myself for the worst. In fact, when his health took a turn for the better, I still stayed on the negative side just in case. Well, its been three days and let me tell you, I am high as kite!
My baby's One, my Dad's alive and I get to hear him on the other end of the phone saying "Hi baby!" when I call him.
I am the happiest woman/mom/daughter today. YAY!!!!!!!

More peeps that are the shit...... :)

Jennifer, Diane and Christy.......fo' shizzle! xoxox

4:08

Very early tomorrow morning, my baby Ruby is turning One. I can't believe it. It's been a whole year since that scary Friday. It's been a fantastic year. My baby is turning one....... :( I'm a little sad about that.

i love photo booth

I got a new laptop and it has a program called photo booth. This enhancement is called Comic. Here's me as a Super Hero Jewelry Designer. ;) Im such a dork and clearly wasnt sober when I took these! I was supposed to be working!

Yummies vs Sprinkles

My sister and my family went out to lunch with our friend Ana on Saturday. When we were leaving for the hospital Ana said something like "oh I forgot my cupcake itinerary". I hear the word cupcake, my head spins and I say your cupcake what?!? She tells me that her husband has to work, and that she is going to spend her saturday checking out all the cupcakerys in southern california. My eyes lit up, I thought......what the hell....I want to do that. Hot damn! Is this what people with no kids do on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon?!? So of course I had to lay in my curiosity. I told her to report back to me on the parking situation, the staff (look and friendliness), are they kid friendly and of course, how did the cupcake taste!?!
Ana has all ready been to Dots and Auntie Em's. She said Le Cupcake was closed. She spent six hours on her journey and I must say she is an A+ reporter. She told me she was going to bring us cupcakes that night. I thought it was a nice gesture but didn't really think it would happen.
Saturday night, around ten. After we had all drowned our sorrows in Barro's Pizza and almond m&m's. Ana shows up, with all these cupcakes! She also brought me menus, she took pictures and bought me an individual cupcake holder. I know right.....where the hell did this Angel come from??
Our weekend was extremely awful and because of Ana, we had cupcakes to cry to. By far......Yummies is way yummier than sprinkles. I have to say there signature button on top of the cupcake is cute but Yummies tastes way better!! But there is a consensus, theirs no cupcake better than Auntie Em's red velvet.
Ok seriously there is more. Ana is Lisa's old co-worker/room mate. She and my sister are very close and very good to each other. Let me just say this.....Ana also did a M.A.C. and Philosophy run for us. Ana's the shit! We love you Mama Cakes!

I voted!!!

Its a big day today. Im so nervous! I went to our new polling place and I wasn't on the list! We had to look it up last night because we never got our papers. That wasn't a sign to us because we have a serious mail problem on our hill. So I get there, Im feeling emotional about the whole thing. Im parking and thinking about how I never thought I would get to vote (i know its early) for a woman president in my life time. I remember being told this as a small child that I wouldn't. I remember how crushed I was because back then at seven I thought......I'd be a pretty good president. ;) So, I walk inside and my name isn't on the list! I feel myself panic then he said lets check the just moved list. I wasn't on there either. At this point, I was ready to cry. He said that sometimes they don't get our registrations. I thought.....what do you mean, I did it at the post office!?! I told him I was going to drive to my old polling place to get my vote in. I mean what if Hillary lost because of my one vote? I couldn't deal with that. Luckily he was able to give me a ballot and I didn't cry. :)
I cross my fingers and heart for a Democrat. Please let is be Hilary and if not Obama. Please!!

Old friends....are like home.

The Standard

It was my birthday on the 24th. Breyne knew I really wanted to celebrate this year because last year I was 37 weeks pregnant and all I wanted then was to not go into labor. I didn't want to celebrate last year, I was in baby mode. I had a fantastic birthday this year!! On the 24th, I kept Ava out of school. My girls and I spent the day with my parents. That Saturday, Breyne got us a room at the Standard and to my surprise, we had friends that met us at the bar in the pouring rain!! Thanks guys! I couldn't believe it! I had a wonderful, wonderful time!
I wore a dress, perfume, jewelry, lots of make up and crazy heels! My four year old got me heels for my birthday. I haven't wore heels this high since before kids. It was fantastic! I had no one tugging at my clothes or jewelry. My clothes didn't have milk or food on them. I got to be an adult and only worry about me for a night. I had the best time. Thank you Breyne!!! xoxoxo!

We drank a lot and had a lot of fun.