So a few days ago, I posted the lyrics to Bright Eyes, "Make A Plan to Love Me". I'm sure most of you read that and wondered what the hell that was all about. Well friends, that was a mixture of emotions that was brought on by the death of Brad Renfro. I was really upset the day he died. I felt sorry for that sweet little boy we all fell in love with in the 90's. I was very taken by his death, I felt like a lost a friend. I didn't want to post those feelings because it seemed so off the wall. It seemed like Gracie's gone crazy, she thinks Brad Renfro was her friend and she buys doll magazines! ;)
Make a Plan to Love Me, that song kills me. Every time I hear it, I feel it deep inside of me and sometimes I want to cry as I sing it. When I am in this place, I find myself in the background thinking.....why am I so sad? I have a great husband and two great daughters but it pulls me back into a time where it was hard for me to accept love. It reminded me of a time where I felt like I had nothing going for myself and I was invisible. It was a very sad time for me. It reminds me of times when I gave out love and wasn't given love in return. That song pulls to a place far behind me.
I wondered if Brad was really messed up, if he felt terribly lonely or did he just really love being high? I'm sure it was a mixture of all those things. After that night, I was ok and didn't feel so hurt by his death. Yes its very sad but hello....he wasn't a friend I lost. (I was a bit crazy about it) And now Heath Ledger has passed. This is yet another tragedy. He was so talented and young and a father. Sometimes it seems like money is the key to everything and you look at these poor souls that have left so early and feel really thankful for the life you have. I'm sorry they died to young. Maybe in some way their passing will make a positive difference to our world. I hope so and my they have peace.
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